Sod the title.

Well, I tried to stave it off for as long as I could but without fail the last week of term has pulled me down into depression again.

Every year without fail on every end of term there is always something that causes me to end up depressed be it my fault or not, at first I thought it was how people always seem to distance themselves from me at that particular time but no, this time I'm the sole cause and that my friends is what hurts the most.

No-one else to blame, no-one else but me. And I hold my hands up, maybe I haven't studied as much as I can but can you not feel any sort of sympathy when I try what I can, border on having constant headaches every lesson desperately trying to understand what's written in front of me only to have a big fat FAIL presented to me for my efforts.

My Mum now thinks I should go into full-time work to help pay for the house, hell why not?
I'm not helping anyone by trying to chase after my dream job am I?
I go about every day constantly going down the hardest path I could take all for a vain dream to be part of an industry that has kept me sane and given me something to be passionate about in like and all I end up doing is making life hard for people around me.
My Mum for paying for extra help.
My teachers for having to reiterate everything to try to get me to understand it.
My friends for constantly trying to bring a smile to my face only for it to look like I am ungrateful back.

Sod it, why shouldn't I just give up? I've never excelled at anything, never shown a single trait I could use to help me become successful. All I am is 6ft of talentless, insignificant burts of social idiocy.

And look even now as I write this all I accomplish is a vain attempt for people to make me feel better, so here's the irony I'm being a nuisance again!

Here I've been constantly trying to figure out what exactly it is that makes life hard for me and why people don't seem to see me as a person they'd like. Well guess what? All I had to do was look in the mirror.

So here I present myself to you ladies and gentlemen, throw your abuse at me, because it's all I will ever deserve.