Current song playing: The Killers- Romeo And Juliet

"I can't do the talk like the talk on the TV

And I can't do a love song like the way it's meant to be

I can't do everything but I'd do anything for you

Can't do anything except be in love with you



And all I do is miss you and the way we used to be"





I had a couple of odd dreams recently, one involving Lizzie and the other the cast of Top Gear...probably best you don't ask about these as I'm issuing an advance warning of possible disturbance.

Anyway now for something I've come to realise this week, I'm losing hope.


If it's now increasingly likely I'll ever be able to speak to her again then hell will freeze, thaw and refreeze before I can have anything romantic with her. I'm living in the past, I'm scared to turn to the future and I'm constantly relating myself to a simple Dr Who quote I saw in the finale:

"So what about you Doctor, all those friends you've got?"..."They've all got someone else now"



Alas I have to put out a mention to Fia, yet again she has been able to make me feel better what with her uplifiting demeanour and her frantic typing at the end of conversations trying to get down all she wants to say and my sneaky attempts at keeping her from going to bed so she can keep me smiling for that extra minute. Selfish I know, will have to get her that ice-cream I owe her as an apology gift.

Speaking of Fia I should probably end this blog with something uplifting...well it'll be uplifting for some and for others distinctly average.

Upon the arrival of July 12th the fantastic Fia and the sincere Steph kindly partnered me to the Goodwood Festival of Speed and I can honeslty say it was the best one I have ever been to simply because they were there with me. I've never been able to openly act in my automotive interests with people before, sure there are thousands of other people there too but apart from my Dad I've never been able to share my world with people like this before. So a most sincere thankyou to the both of you and now here are the moments from that day that I look back on kindest:

• Going "shopping" with Fia and Steph round the racecar model shops.
• Trying the A1GP pit-stop challenge with Dad.
• Talking to Alan McNish and finding out he was tired of journalists over-hyping the Le Mans battle between Audi (which he drove for) and Peugeot and thought Peugeot were going to win.
• Finding out both Alan and I love a good mocha.
• Battling the walk up the hill to crossing 6 with them both.
• Watching the tiny windscreen wipers on the tank go crazy.
• Waving umbrellas about to help Dad find me, much to photographer's displeasure.
• Seeing Fia get awe-struck by the Airbus A380.
• The three of us egging eachother on to get Sir Stirling Moss' autograph.
• Getting Sir Stirling Moss to sign a copy of Ian Fleming's "Live And Let Die".
• Watching Fia and Steph dive into a pile of bean bags at the Honda stand.
• Sitting on the Honda F1-liveried lawnmower with Steph.
• Fia giving Steph a ride in a Honda Civic Type-R, Fia being the driver of course, and having a laugh.
• The bumpy ride in the tractor shuttles up and down from the rally stage
• Being interviewed by the online Race of Champions TV crew about my opinions on it being hosted in Wembley.
• Running about the supercar display taking pictures just as the cars were preparing to do their runs up the hill.
• Getting a text from Fia giving me subtle clues as to where she was sitting in the supercar paddock.
• Getting a text from Fia saying "Look up" and literally looking up at the sky when they were right next to me on the wall, then getting a text saying "By the cafe we're not that ruddy tall!". Good laugh that was.
• Playing with the cavemen from Wacky Races's hair.
• Trying to get Steph and Fia noticed on the TV camera up by the rally stage with me.
• Driving an XBOX game on a stand where the seat was too low and the TV screen angles so the clouds reflected off the screen therefore not being able to see where you were going, not good when the steering wheel was nearly falling off the table and possibly explaining why the steering was so light. But fun to see Steph and Fia having a go and me giving them directions.
• Walking straight past Fia and Steph (literally) whilst trying to find them in the paddock...several times.
• Fia singing the Bugatti Veyron's praises, and me complimenting the Pur Sang edition.
• Fia and I taking pictures of eachother with her SLR camera whilst waiting for Steph to finish in the lavatory.
• The minimal traffic in and out of the event.
• Steph and I walking Fia to and from her house up to my Dad's car.
• Steph and I endlessly stroking Fia's face as it was so soft.
• Me walking arm in arm with Fia on my right and Steph on my left through the Style-et-Luxe past a James Bond car display with big band music in the background. I'll treasure that moment most for a very long time. "Well looks like you really CAN live like a spy and get the girls".

Anyway that's all I can remember for now, if I remember anything more I'll add it in a later date.

But I should probably take Fia's advice from 2 hours ago and go to bed.

I'll see you soon.

Current song playing: Coldplay- Everything's Not Lost

"So if you ever feel neglected, and you think that all is lost, I'll be counting up my demons, hoping everything's not lost"

I can't believe the weekend I had, so many good things happened it was an incredibly great experience, probably what I needed after recent social events had left me confused, nervous and apprehensive for a while. But anyway enough of that, I have a story to tell...

Saturday morning was the turn of my theory test for my driving. Got 49/50 for multiple choice and 61/75 for hazard perception so that equated to one hell of a pass! Nearly had my test cancelled by the DSA as I had left the photocard part of my provisional driving license at home but Dad was kind enough to get it for me. Fast-forward the day an hour or so and I had managed to get back to Horsham in time to play football in the park as usual, and what's more is the team I was in won the game so an added benefit of the day. Fast-forward the day again and after the British Grand Prix I had recieved confirmation that I was allowed to go to the British Grand Prix with my Dad! More details on that later.

Upon watching Doctor Who in the evening I wasn't really struck by the finale, it solved the answers of the previous episode cliffhanger but that's pretty much all it did. The using-the-hand-to-keep-Tennant-the-same was a bit of a cop-out of Mr Davies' part and didn't do him justice as to some of the good episodes he has written have done. However was glad that Donna no longer plays a role in the programme, I shan't rant about this too long but she was the most rubbish companion in the history of Dr Who. Enough said. Also glad to see no sudden burst of what will start this years Christmas special, the plot was best left with him just adjusting to life on his own again. Was a bit rubbish to see the entire mass of associates he had collected all forced to go seperate ways, especially Rose but we all knew what the Doctor said to her on Bad Wolf Bay now don't we?

Anyway, Sunday beckoned me profusely as it was the day of the 2008 Santander British Grand Prix, I had to get up early so that I was able to get to the circuit in time. The reason why I was allowed to the Grand Prix was that I was to join my Dad as part of Cabair staff, I got up early so that I would travel with my Dad to the circuit and help out when it came to flying the customers in and out of the circuit for the Grand Prix. Thus in turn allowing me to get into Silverstone for FREE. That's right, I paid nothing. Zero. Zilch. Nada.

Once the customers had gotten where they wanted to (Vernon Kay and Tess Daly being notable guests), we were taxi-ed down to a clubhouse/cafe place (which had a free-vending hot drinks machine, made use of that with a mocha) next to Bridge where there was a perfect vantage point where the ground was risen up to build the road over the bridge. Uninterrupted views of Maggots/Beckets and turning around gave views of the run down to Stowe so plenty of overtaking opportunities ready for recording.

Even when the cars were on the warm-up lap the noise was just amazing, you could sense how the engines were longing to be put to full pace and when they were...it's just phenomenal. Never have I actually felt something inside my ears upon hearing something, it says a lot about the sheer power of the engines, just makes me want to have gone to a Grand Prix back when they had 3-litre V10's that weren't rev-limited and were the pinnacle of engine development in worldwide motorsport. Anyway below is a link to a montage video I took of the weekend:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2s41Ou03VaI

The race itself was incredibly eventful, Lewis Hamilton finishing an epic 68-odd seconds before second-placed Nick Heidfeld and Rubens Barrichello taking a well-deserved 3rd for Honda. What's more is that Massa spun at least 5 times (with some jeering from the crowd) and Raikonnen making a poor decision to stay on his first stint tyres and losing around 40 seconds to Hamilton. Good to see Ferrari getting this kind of race happen to them after all the help they've gotten from the FIA recently. Mark Webber unfortunately again couldn't capitalise on a front-row start and spun on the hangar straight on the first lap ultimately causing him to finish outside of the points. It made the wind and the rain so worth it to have gone to my first British Grand Prix with a British driver winning in a British car and I went for free. Can't get many better motor-racing experiences than that without driving.

I originally started at Bridge then with my Dad and his colleagues we walked down to Stowe before finishing at Copse to watch the end of the race. It was great to see Hamilton waving at the fans while they cheered, you could even hear them cheering at the start/finish straight there were so many of them. What was funny was that when I was at Bridge I was standing near a small group of raging Ferrari fans so to see them get all excited when Raikonnen closed up to Hamilton only to see Ferrari screw up their strategy so that showed them what was what.

After the race had finished we were taxi-ed back up to the marquees up by Abbey to get Cabair customers back out of the circuit so they could go home and I was instructed to tell the staff which of our designated helicopters were landing in certain bays by listening to radio transmissions from the control tower at Silverstone (121.075Hz I think the frequency was). That went well and then out of the blue I was told that I may have to get a helicopter out of the circuit so I was suddenly very nervous, it's hard enough for me to jump out of a tree from a branch no higher than my height as it is let alone ride in a helicopter. Unfortunately for me, while I was frantically pacing up and down the marquee, it dawned on me that it was this or walk. I had no idea which direction to go in either and it was raning so I had to take my vertigo like a man and just get in the helicopter and hope the flight is as short as possible.

So I walked out of the marquee at a crouch as I was adamant that I was not to go anywhere near the rotors than is sensible, and I was bundled into the front seat so I was to get a panoramic view throughout the trip. Not too bad then. So as we ascended I video-ed the view as to prove to myself (or other people) I was capable of remaining in relative calm at over head height. I got a pretty good view of the circuit and could see the entire layout of the track. What I actually found interesting was while flying that the rain streamed across the windshield in a rather elegant fashion, but I should point out that from ascent to descent my left hand would not let go of a coasthanger-thing above me to my left whether I told it to or not. Couple of other things that worried me about the trip was the window was vibrating tremendously while in flight and the fact that as I was sitting in the front passenger seat that of course I was next to all the controls, including a bid red button labelled "KILL SWITCH". That unnerved me a lot knowing what that button does and having it near me.

Nonetheless after getting over the silly amounts of tilting that the pilot was doing in the air the descent back to where Dad's car was parked went smoothly and I got out safely too. I made a point of telling Dad that I was still a petrolhead and that my preferred method of transport would always be the car. Flew over the Red Bull Racing F1 factory which could have been an insight to a future workplace if my plans go well.

A final highlight of the trip would be living the classic cliche of having swans (thankyou Fia for correcting me, I originally thought they were geese) cross the road in front of me when me and Dad were driving past the Nissan factory next to where my Dad works.

So yeah quite a weekend and I do hope I haven't bored you at all reading this.

And if you're reading this then remember I still love you, I'm sorry if it inconveniences you but I just can't help this.

Fare thee well.