Current song playing: Coldplay- Rainy Day

WARNING: IF YOU INTEND ON READING JOHN GREEN'S BOOKS BE AWARE POSSIBLE SPOILERS FOLLOW IN THIS POST, other than that thanks for reading XD

The song in the title is one of the song's from Coldplay's EP titled "Prospekt's March", which gladly has been the soundtrack to my sunny days riding on the bus reading John Green's marvellous books. I enjoyed them so much I now feel compelled to write about them, so here goes:

Looking for Alaska:
Blimey what a book to start seriously reading on, I don't know of any other book which has actually emotionally moved me. It's about a guy called Miles going to a boarding school in Alabama and he ends up meeting rather interesting people, notably a girl called Alaska. Miles I can relate to due to his unpopularity in mainstream educational places and a notable ability to remember lots of things about a certain subject (in his case people's last words, in mine Formula 1). Seeing his raport with Alaska slowly grow as the book goes on filled me with a little glow of happiness as I felt so pleased for him, here's this ordinary guy searching for his "Great Perhaps" and yet he finds what I can only describe as a completely fascinating girl. I felt as if I was standing in Miles' very shoes as he was astounded (not just by her physical appearance) by just how different and mysterious she was, the prankster she was, how literary adept she was. Such a mind she had I couldn't help, like Miles, but be drawn to her and to know more about her. One thing I was surprised about was how much Miles mentioned his observations of how many layers of clothing stood between him and Alaska, but hey I suppose some things can't be helped but think about in the situations he was faced with hehe.
But then I was emotionally stirred once again, to read about Alaska's demise just shocked me completely. To think such a wonderful creature could just disappear like that just made me not want to believe she was gone, that she shouldn't be gone and that things just don't seem right without having the Alaska spin on the world. Perhaps this is a straightforward way of looking at it, but I thought that Alaska could be Miles' "Great Perhaps", but maybe the process of seeing her/having her/losing her as a whole could be classed as his "Great Perhaps". The one life changing event which ensures a person never is the same again.
I would recommend this book to anyone, if they can feel like how this book made me feel then it's a job well done by you Mr Green. I can't wait for the film next year.

An Abundance of Katherines:
This was a fun book to read, this book is about Colin who remarkably has been in a relationship (and dumped by) 19 girls all named Katherine and he sets out to create a formula that can predict the duration of any relationship between two people. Now how I'm studying Maths at college and the whole idea of being able to predict how a relationship will go appeals to me, I was very interested to see how Colin would do. He struggles with how his prominence as a child prodigy is a blessing and a curse, I mean to be a prodigy means you learn things which have already been proven but very fast and very well, but to be a genius requires figuring out new things that no-one else has. This unfortunately is his Achillile's Heel. But this leads him on a journey to find out whether he can matter to the world, and if he will be anything more than just a child prodigy. This spoke to me in a sense as I myself have questioned the matter of...well mattering, whether I can be of use to the world or if I will ever have a unique skill or ability which I can use to make a difference. To be more than just another guy.
This book makes for a great summer read, the formula is very interesting as is Colin's ability to anagram almost anything, and John Green's footnotes provide his mix of intelligence and humour which makes me come back everytime on his vlogbrother's YouTube channel. I mean if there's a reason why you'd watch a video on politics why not because the guy doing it is rubbing Peanut butter all over his face while he explains it to you?

Paper Towns:
If you like mystery, well my friend you've come to the right place. Although personally me being absolutely rubbish at thisisnottom.com I didn't think I stood a good chance of being able to figure out the ending of the book before it told me haha.
This book is about a guy called Quentin, and his neighbour Margo. They've known eachother for as long as they can remember, and have seen some rather interesting things together. Margo to me was one of the most spontaneous people you could ever meet, but yet the irony in that is her spontaneous happenings she plans it through most thoroughly. I liked reading about Margo expressing how her vision of Quentin in her imaginary world slowly proved to actually be the Quentin she knew all this time, but what a journey it could have been eh? To see Margo and Q travelling the width and breadth of the country doing all sorts of wonderful things. Thoroughly enjoyed reading it.

So anyway that's it, I hope it made for good reading as I wanted to write about this for some time.

Current song playing: Robbie Williams- Ghosts

I'm not actually listening to this, it just fits into the subject of some poetry I wrote in college today. Still no title for it...I don't seem to be very good at naming poems.

Here's to the ghosts in the world,
The invisible companions forever ignored,
Who are always there,
Not that people care,
And glide silently like a forgotten memory through their lives.
Now you see them...now you don't.

I don't know why I posted that, it's crap isn't it?

Current song playing: Well whatever follows on the list I guess.

Basically I'm copying Fia because her version was so good I wanted to see how mine would turn out, here goes:

1. How am I feeling today? High- Feeder (Really?)

2. Where will I get married? Sonorus- Feeder (To me that suggests maybe a church?)

3. What is my best friend’s theme song? The Scientist- Coldplay (Well I've no idea who my best friend is so who knows?)
4. What was High school like? Supreme- Robbie Williams (Um...)

5. What is the best thing about me? The Pretender- Foo Fighters (Oh dear :S)

6. How is tomorrow going to be? Perfect Day- Lou Reed Children In Need (Oh really? :D)

7. What is in store for this weekend? Man Machine- Robbie Williams (Hard-working times? *shrug*)

8. How does the world see me? Where'd All The Good People Go?- Jack Johnson (Am I one of the good people?)

9. What do my friends really think of me? This River Is Wild- The Killers (That's a bemusing analogy actually, not sure what to make of it)

10. How can I make myself happy? Forget About Tomorrow- Feeder (Ah but what would happen about planning? Or maybe that's the thing, maybe let stuff happen rather than prepare for what might?)

11. What should I do with my life? I Made It- Jay-Z (Well the song is about becoming a success when others thought you wouldn't so...)

12. Will I ever have children? Under The Weather- Feeder (I'll leave that to the imagination)

13. What is some good advice? You're All I Have- Snow Patrol (To make someone you care about feel special and valued?)

14. What do I think my current theme song is? Girl Is On My Mind- Rubber Factory (Actually that is true there is a girl on my mind, a lot...)

15. What does everyone else think about my current life? Viva La Vida- Coldplay (The song title means 'Live The Life', or 'Long Live Life' so I'm not too sure)

16. What type of women/men do you like? Lovers In Japan- Coldplay (Now that would be interesting, reminds me of how I really want to go to Japan)

17. Will you get married? Don't Get Me Wrong- Lily Allen (Is that a yes with an if or a no with a but?)

18. What should I do with my love life? The Importance Of Being Idle- Oasis (Paraphrasing 'be patient' much?"

19. Where will you live? Win Some, Lose Some- Robbie Williams (Suggests gambling, living in a casino? :S)

20. When I meet a guy/girl for the first time I say…Porcelain- Moby (No wonder people are resistant to approach me)

21. When my parents are angry I say… Lost?- Coldplay (That may stop them from arguing but maybe not for long, probably confuse them)

22. What always makes me happy? Move Your Feet- Junior Senior (Awesome song, I'm not much of a dancer though)

23. What always makes you laugh? Inversion- Mark Ronson (Well inversion of colours to make amusing pictures maybe?)

24. What makes you cry? You Give Me Something- James Morrison (Oh hardly, only piece of music that makes me cry is "Rose's Theme" as I've previously mentioned)

25. What makes you angry? Bela Lugosi's Dead- Bauhaus (*shrug* I don't think so)

26. What’s your biggest weakness? Grace- Robbie Williams (I'll probably have to disagree)

27. And your greatest achievement in life so far? You're All I Need To Get By- Mark Ronson (Finding true love? Well it's certainly made me feel the happiest I've been in life)

28. And your greatest ambition? Icky Thump- The White Stripes (No idea what that means, possibly to do with drumming?)

29. What song sums up how you feel about the girl/guy you like? Calm Down Dearest- Jamie T (I wish I got the song from #27 in this, it's how I feel)

30. What’s the most important thing in your life? Violet Hill- Coldplay (Well seeing as the true meaning behing this song is unknown to non-Coldplay members I can't think much of this)

31. What’s the best piece of advice you’ve ever been given? Not Everyone- Nine Black Alps (Well reading the lyrics, it's kind of a way of saying that not everyone is a bad person or something)

32. And the worst? Stronger- Kanye West (What doesn't kill you doesn't make you stronger)

33. What was your childhood like? Ghosts- Robbie Williams (I certainly felt as invisible as one)

34. What are you thinking right now? Whistle For The Choir- The Fratellis (Yeah, thinking about it more it makes sense to me)

35. What will you end up doing in life? Book Eight- Hank Green (Good lord I'd ruin the entire Harry Potter legacy, I'd have countless amounts of HP nerdfighters chase me like an angry mob for creating such a disaster)

36. What would you like to say to your friends? Broken- Feeder (Well I feel like it, especially one part of me, feels like it's on life support with fleeting bursts of life)

37. What about your enemies? So Far So Good- Johnathan Coulton (Again this song and the previous should be switched if rules were to allow me)

38. And what’s your final message to the world? Drinking With You- Johnathan Coulton (The lyrics say it better than this comment does)

Well how about that, quite a few songs bringing about love-themed thoughts but hey, it's onlya quiz.

Until next time...

Current song playing: Feeder- Somewhere To Call Your Own

"I know that I've made mistakes don't get me wrong"

Actually been a rather decent day for me, at least it properly got good since I got home as I'm pleased to deliver the news to my limited audience that my inflatable chain chomp is back! I'll be trying to bring it into college as soon as I can hopefully so I can keep it inflated permanently to share the fun amongst my dear friends.

Speaking of which I'm going to be unoriginal and launch out some statements to some people I know in the hope they can understand something or other so here goes:

• I don't mean to confuse you so much when I talk to you, I just get nervous trying to think of stuff to talk about and end up spurting random rubbish to you. I just like talking to you a lot and don't want to end up starting dead convos all the time to try and seem an interesting person to you, but when you do start up conversations with me I am grateful that you do.
• I'm sorry for doing some things that have been a bit appropriate between two people of conflicting circumstances. I have said and done a few things I shouldn't and ought to know better, I'm just grateful for any attention you pay to me that's all. I'll stay away for a bit if my actions make you uncomfortable.
• A piece of me will always love you, but if I'm honest I think some of me has just given up on the chance of someone liking me and I guess now I just have to get on with life being the somewhat distinctly average and uninteresting person I must be to people. If anyone does see me as the kind of person they want to be with I guess I should just be grateful. But by no means consider this your fault, you're one of if not the best people I've ever had the pleasure to meet and my life, as hard as this may be to believe, would have been worse off not having met you.

Anyway not much important stuff to say then, just thought I'd put some stuff out there that has been playing on my mind.

See you soon.

Current song playing: Kaiser Chiefs- Try Your Best

"So try your best

And think about it later

Or you will never know"

Good evening on this blustery cold (summers?) evening.

Despite the weather conditions in Brighton being on a par with the monsoon that was the last time we went down there I enjoyed myself a fair bit more I have to be honest.

Didn't take as many pictures as I would have liked but weather didn't help but batteries are being great at losing their charge within hoursn, with minimal usage, of being removed from the bosom that is the National Grid. But I digress.

I'll list down the highlights here as I find it easier to remember somehow but feel free to ask more about it, would love someone to talk to right now.

• Musing with Gav on my steel drum from Antuiga, working on how to work out how to play songs on it which should be great. He recommended I try being the drummer on a game called "Rock Band" too which I look forward to trying.
• Somehow fitting into the Brighton scene even whilst wearing my black-and-white-hat-shaped-no-eyed-spider of a ski hat.
• Trying to take pictures of us on the escalators in Primark.
• Savouring the taste of Mountain Dew.
• Watching a guy in "Oddballs" completely master the yo-yo and diabolo right in front of Dex and Gav while they watched on in awe mixed with shame (:P)
• Meeting and acquiring a delightful small rubber ducky named Jasmine (due to eyelashes).
• The hugs ^^.
• Seeing the self-titled Boop and Koop dressed up in skinny jeans and corsets, they looked rather fetching =] (in a im-not-trying-to-flirt-with-peoples-girlfriends-just-complimenting-their-looks kind of way *phew*)
• Going barefoot into the water with Lizzie and Shelle even though the beach was pointy of my feet (no needles don't worry)
• Watching Hannah go hyper on Mountain Dew.
• Finding caramel chews in dice containers with Japanese caligrophy on them...for 30p!
• Running after Shelle to get her onto the train in time for home.
• Finding a post which had a poem written in a sprial downwards so I read it, out loud whilst spinning round it and inadvertedly getting in loads of peoples ways. Quite funny looking from where Gav and Lizzie were standing, especially with my hat =]

Anyway if any of the people who went to Brighton with me (Fia/Lizzie/Shelle/Cat/Boop/Dex/Gav/Matt/Hannah/Imi/Cathy/Gemma) then feel free to share them with me be it in picture form or not =]

See you soon my friends.

Current song playing: Robbie Williams- Better Man

"As my soul heals the shame
I will grow through this pain
Lord Im doing all I can
To be a better man

Go easy on my conscience
cause its not my fault
I know Ive been taught
To take the blame"

I've had something going through my mind recently, due to my own faults I'm too nervouse to say this directly to you so I shall say it here.

I have been through many thought process and one of them led me to this realisation, recently I had grown to like you more in a way than I normally do. I found so many things to admire about you and you were more often than not the reason for me smiling, but of course I now feel bad for doing so not only for obvious commitments but for how I nearly thought I had someone to guide me through a hardship in my life.

Of course now though gravity forces me back through the tunnel out to the other side again every time I reach the light so now I am forced to try again alone.

Thinking about it though it may in a strange way not be such a coincidence I've found it harder to talk to you than normal and being the fool I am I say the wrong things to try and make it better, so I'll just accept maybe I'm being kept away to prevent my foolish nature what is now a great set of circumstances for you which you have been long owed for some time now.

So anyway this is it, I can only hope you are not angered or confused by this and I can only hope for us to stay the good friends we've been (at least I hope we have) we have been and I wish for your happiness to continue.

Goodnight.

Current song playing: Coldplay- X&Y

"Trying hard to speak and
Fighting with my weak hand
Driven to distraction
It's all part of the plan

When something is broken
And you try to fix it
Trying to repair it
Any way you can"

My this blog has gone cold from neglect, I shall aim to warm it some more with a nice cup of Jasmine tea...shall have to pop back to the Steyning Tea Houses...maybe take someone with me *ponders*

Anyway I haven't really had anything significant to blog about recently and thus not felt like wasting peoples time by typing dribble but tonight fingers have come to keys and after talking to people (both meaning a lot to me) I've felt compelled to write.

I've been doubting myself recently, a lot in fact. I've grown nervous around the people who mean the most to me not only in person but online and not knowing what to type to keep them interested and having the confidence to type/talk slowly shrink away into seclusion or a feeling of "they wouldn't want to talk to me anyways".

I got shown some videos by someone recently and aside from being interesting in the way of showing how big space is and having some incredibly large figures, it made me think a little but probably not what I was supposed to. I doubted myself again to my worth as a person or to other's time even though it was supposed to make me feel great about myself and I apologise to Lizzie for not being as upbeat as I was supposed to be and being a pessimist toward myself.

Having getting over the nervousness of talking to people and trying to get conversations going though proved slightly easier for me recently as they've actually made me feel better just by talking to me and making me think that maybe I am interesting enough to make their time spent talking to me worthwhile.

What I have found the most confusing personally is when I try and explain my doubts or weird feelings I stumble and think to myself "I don't actually know" so it then gets me thinking as to why the hell I am thinking all this and that I should just grow up and be happy with what I have, yet I've not the will-power to do so it would seem.

Nonetheless I guess it's been a mental "what-the-hell" type thing going on for me but I just want to extend some thanks for some little things that have been good for me recently:

To Fia: For the walks in the woods, the chats online about many goods & all the laughs we had
To Lizzie: For the reassuring beliefs, the consoling of my griefs & the cute dp of an orange
To her: For simply responding, to leave me wondering, of when we will meet again.

Sleep well my friends.

Current song playing: The Killers- Romeo And Juliet

"I can't do the talk like the talk on the TV

And I can't do a love song like the way it's meant to be

I can't do everything but I'd do anything for you

Can't do anything except be in love with you



And all I do is miss you and the way we used to be"





I had a couple of odd dreams recently, one involving Lizzie and the other the cast of Top Gear...probably best you don't ask about these as I'm issuing an advance warning of possible disturbance.

Anyway now for something I've come to realise this week, I'm losing hope.


If it's now increasingly likely I'll ever be able to speak to her again then hell will freeze, thaw and refreeze before I can have anything romantic with her. I'm living in the past, I'm scared to turn to the future and I'm constantly relating myself to a simple Dr Who quote I saw in the finale:

"So what about you Doctor, all those friends you've got?"..."They've all got someone else now"



Alas I have to put out a mention to Fia, yet again she has been able to make me feel better what with her uplifiting demeanour and her frantic typing at the end of conversations trying to get down all she wants to say and my sneaky attempts at keeping her from going to bed so she can keep me smiling for that extra minute. Selfish I know, will have to get her that ice-cream I owe her as an apology gift.

Speaking of Fia I should probably end this blog with something uplifting...well it'll be uplifting for some and for others distinctly average.

Upon the arrival of July 12th the fantastic Fia and the sincere Steph kindly partnered me to the Goodwood Festival of Speed and I can honeslty say it was the best one I have ever been to simply because they were there with me. I've never been able to openly act in my automotive interests with people before, sure there are thousands of other people there too but apart from my Dad I've never been able to share my world with people like this before. So a most sincere thankyou to the both of you and now here are the moments from that day that I look back on kindest:

• Going "shopping" with Fia and Steph round the racecar model shops.
• Trying the A1GP pit-stop challenge with Dad.
• Talking to Alan McNish and finding out he was tired of journalists over-hyping the Le Mans battle between Audi (which he drove for) and Peugeot and thought Peugeot were going to win.
• Finding out both Alan and I love a good mocha.
• Battling the walk up the hill to crossing 6 with them both.
• Watching the tiny windscreen wipers on the tank go crazy.
• Waving umbrellas about to help Dad find me, much to photographer's displeasure.
• Seeing Fia get awe-struck by the Airbus A380.
• The three of us egging eachother on to get Sir Stirling Moss' autograph.
• Getting Sir Stirling Moss to sign a copy of Ian Fleming's "Live And Let Die".
• Watching Fia and Steph dive into a pile of bean bags at the Honda stand.
• Sitting on the Honda F1-liveried lawnmower with Steph.
• Fia giving Steph a ride in a Honda Civic Type-R, Fia being the driver of course, and having a laugh.
• The bumpy ride in the tractor shuttles up and down from the rally stage
• Being interviewed by the online Race of Champions TV crew about my opinions on it being hosted in Wembley.
• Running about the supercar display taking pictures just as the cars were preparing to do their runs up the hill.
• Getting a text from Fia giving me subtle clues as to where she was sitting in the supercar paddock.
• Getting a text from Fia saying "Look up" and literally looking up at the sky when they were right next to me on the wall, then getting a text saying "By the cafe we're not that ruddy tall!". Good laugh that was.
• Playing with the cavemen from Wacky Races's hair.
• Trying to get Steph and Fia noticed on the TV camera up by the rally stage with me.
• Driving an XBOX game on a stand where the seat was too low and the TV screen angles so the clouds reflected off the screen therefore not being able to see where you were going, not good when the steering wheel was nearly falling off the table and possibly explaining why the steering was so light. But fun to see Steph and Fia having a go and me giving them directions.
• Walking straight past Fia and Steph (literally) whilst trying to find them in the paddock...several times.
• Fia singing the Bugatti Veyron's praises, and me complimenting the Pur Sang edition.
• Fia and I taking pictures of eachother with her SLR camera whilst waiting for Steph to finish in the lavatory.
• The minimal traffic in and out of the event.
• Steph and I walking Fia to and from her house up to my Dad's car.
• Steph and I endlessly stroking Fia's face as it was so soft.
• Me walking arm in arm with Fia on my right and Steph on my left through the Style-et-Luxe past a James Bond car display with big band music in the background. I'll treasure that moment most for a very long time. "Well looks like you really CAN live like a spy and get the girls".

Anyway that's all I can remember for now, if I remember anything more I'll add it in a later date.

But I should probably take Fia's advice from 2 hours ago and go to bed.

I'll see you soon.

Current song playing: Coldplay- Everything's Not Lost

"So if you ever feel neglected, and you think that all is lost, I'll be counting up my demons, hoping everything's not lost"

I can't believe the weekend I had, so many good things happened it was an incredibly great experience, probably what I needed after recent social events had left me confused, nervous and apprehensive for a while. But anyway enough of that, I have a story to tell...

Saturday morning was the turn of my theory test for my driving. Got 49/50 for multiple choice and 61/75 for hazard perception so that equated to one hell of a pass! Nearly had my test cancelled by the DSA as I had left the photocard part of my provisional driving license at home but Dad was kind enough to get it for me. Fast-forward the day an hour or so and I had managed to get back to Horsham in time to play football in the park as usual, and what's more is the team I was in won the game so an added benefit of the day. Fast-forward the day again and after the British Grand Prix I had recieved confirmation that I was allowed to go to the British Grand Prix with my Dad! More details on that later.

Upon watching Doctor Who in the evening I wasn't really struck by the finale, it solved the answers of the previous episode cliffhanger but that's pretty much all it did. The using-the-hand-to-keep-Tennant-the-same was a bit of a cop-out of Mr Davies' part and didn't do him justice as to some of the good episodes he has written have done. However was glad that Donna no longer plays a role in the programme, I shan't rant about this too long but she was the most rubbish companion in the history of Dr Who. Enough said. Also glad to see no sudden burst of what will start this years Christmas special, the plot was best left with him just adjusting to life on his own again. Was a bit rubbish to see the entire mass of associates he had collected all forced to go seperate ways, especially Rose but we all knew what the Doctor said to her on Bad Wolf Bay now don't we?

Anyway, Sunday beckoned me profusely as it was the day of the 2008 Santander British Grand Prix, I had to get up early so that I was able to get to the circuit in time. The reason why I was allowed to the Grand Prix was that I was to join my Dad as part of Cabair staff, I got up early so that I would travel with my Dad to the circuit and help out when it came to flying the customers in and out of the circuit for the Grand Prix. Thus in turn allowing me to get into Silverstone for FREE. That's right, I paid nothing. Zero. Zilch. Nada.

Once the customers had gotten where they wanted to (Vernon Kay and Tess Daly being notable guests), we were taxi-ed down to a clubhouse/cafe place (which had a free-vending hot drinks machine, made use of that with a mocha) next to Bridge where there was a perfect vantage point where the ground was risen up to build the road over the bridge. Uninterrupted views of Maggots/Beckets and turning around gave views of the run down to Stowe so plenty of overtaking opportunities ready for recording.

Even when the cars were on the warm-up lap the noise was just amazing, you could sense how the engines were longing to be put to full pace and when they were...it's just phenomenal. Never have I actually felt something inside my ears upon hearing something, it says a lot about the sheer power of the engines, just makes me want to have gone to a Grand Prix back when they had 3-litre V10's that weren't rev-limited and were the pinnacle of engine development in worldwide motorsport. Anyway below is a link to a montage video I took of the weekend:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2s41Ou03VaI

The race itself was incredibly eventful, Lewis Hamilton finishing an epic 68-odd seconds before second-placed Nick Heidfeld and Rubens Barrichello taking a well-deserved 3rd for Honda. What's more is that Massa spun at least 5 times (with some jeering from the crowd) and Raikonnen making a poor decision to stay on his first stint tyres and losing around 40 seconds to Hamilton. Good to see Ferrari getting this kind of race happen to them after all the help they've gotten from the FIA recently. Mark Webber unfortunately again couldn't capitalise on a front-row start and spun on the hangar straight on the first lap ultimately causing him to finish outside of the points. It made the wind and the rain so worth it to have gone to my first British Grand Prix with a British driver winning in a British car and I went for free. Can't get many better motor-racing experiences than that without driving.

I originally started at Bridge then with my Dad and his colleagues we walked down to Stowe before finishing at Copse to watch the end of the race. It was great to see Hamilton waving at the fans while they cheered, you could even hear them cheering at the start/finish straight there were so many of them. What was funny was that when I was at Bridge I was standing near a small group of raging Ferrari fans so to see them get all excited when Raikonnen closed up to Hamilton only to see Ferrari screw up their strategy so that showed them what was what.

After the race had finished we were taxi-ed back up to the marquees up by Abbey to get Cabair customers back out of the circuit so they could go home and I was instructed to tell the staff which of our designated helicopters were landing in certain bays by listening to radio transmissions from the control tower at Silverstone (121.075Hz I think the frequency was). That went well and then out of the blue I was told that I may have to get a helicopter out of the circuit so I was suddenly very nervous, it's hard enough for me to jump out of a tree from a branch no higher than my height as it is let alone ride in a helicopter. Unfortunately for me, while I was frantically pacing up and down the marquee, it dawned on me that it was this or walk. I had no idea which direction to go in either and it was raning so I had to take my vertigo like a man and just get in the helicopter and hope the flight is as short as possible.

So I walked out of the marquee at a crouch as I was adamant that I was not to go anywhere near the rotors than is sensible, and I was bundled into the front seat so I was to get a panoramic view throughout the trip. Not too bad then. So as we ascended I video-ed the view as to prove to myself (or other people) I was capable of remaining in relative calm at over head height. I got a pretty good view of the circuit and could see the entire layout of the track. What I actually found interesting was while flying that the rain streamed across the windshield in a rather elegant fashion, but I should point out that from ascent to descent my left hand would not let go of a coasthanger-thing above me to my left whether I told it to or not. Couple of other things that worried me about the trip was the window was vibrating tremendously while in flight and the fact that as I was sitting in the front passenger seat that of course I was next to all the controls, including a bid red button labelled "KILL SWITCH". That unnerved me a lot knowing what that button does and having it near me.

Nonetheless after getting over the silly amounts of tilting that the pilot was doing in the air the descent back to where Dad's car was parked went smoothly and I got out safely too. I made a point of telling Dad that I was still a petrolhead and that my preferred method of transport would always be the car. Flew over the Red Bull Racing F1 factory which could have been an insight to a future workplace if my plans go well.

A final highlight of the trip would be living the classic cliche of having swans (thankyou Fia for correcting me, I originally thought they were geese) cross the road in front of me when me and Dad were driving past the Nissan factory next to where my Dad works.

So yeah quite a weekend and I do hope I haven't bored you at all reading this.

And if you're reading this then remember I still love you, I'm sorry if it inconveniences you but I just can't help this.

Fare thee well.

Current song playing: Jamiroquai- Cosmic Girl

"Sends me into hyperspace, when I see her pretty face"

Well here I am, free of exams and making the most of all the lie-ins I'm getting. Waking up at about 12:45pm gives you an idea of how much sleep I'm catching up eh?

I have had some really relaxing days though, and there's not much better than lying in your bed, watching Dr Who DVD's and talking to that ever so special girl. Oh and the odd cup of tea can't go amiss either.

Generally I'm feeling more at ease, don't know whether that's due to no more exams or whether I'm just feeling happier chatting to the girl I love more often and sharing what's troubling ourselves with eachother but what's for certain is that I'm thankful for that. If this is a sign of what's to come then I'm going to have a very good summer.

A quick message to those who ever told me to "get a life", well guess what? I've got one, and this summer is without doubt going to be the best one I've ever had. I've got all my friends, my love, the radio show, the vlog project, and all the park days I've had and am bound to have.

Yet I have two more weeks of this, I sense I'll probably be the peace maker while everyone around me goes crazy over their last exams, that actually doesn't sound like such a bad thing, will certainly give me a break from all my driving theory I'll be doing, my instructor has challenged me to be ready to take my test by June 16th so that'll be a mission.

Finally seeing as I can't seem to think of much more to write now I have a little message to send out, the right person who reads this will understand it.

It'll get easier, I know it may seem like it now but if you keep what makes you happy around you then that's all that matters. It's been an honour to be there for you and I hope to mean this much to you forevermore because you know what? It makes me so happy.

That's it I guess, with all this free time you can expect me to be posting more often but we'll soon see won't we?

Fare thee well, and I love you

Current song playing: The Feeling- Rose

Well here I am again, kind of breaking the rule of people asking me to write a blog but I guess I can't bear not being able to express myself.

Speaking of which, I am gradually realising how my words can affect people not in they way I'd like them to. It never makes me feel good to hear about someone not being themselves due to what I have said in here, it was never my intention to cause that. I just wanted others to understand how I feel about things in the hope they understand or can help me in case I can't help myself.

I'll admit something...I have Asperger's syndrome. I can't use this as an excuse for what I have said but I want you to know that I have always found it hard to say or do the right thing because of it. It hinders my ability to read social situations or peoples body language in the event of someone doing/saying something in a particular situation. But anyway if you want to know more about my Asperger's then you can either Google it or just feel free to ask me yourself, it would be nice to talk to you about it.

Anyway I have had a few niggling thoughts over these past few days, would probably be best to mention them but I shall try not to say anything untoward (feel free to correct me if I make any mistakes). I don't see the point in hiding people behind descriptive names so I'm just going to come out with it.

Cat, I am sorry to have been a bad influence to you recently, there probably are things in my blogs I shouldn't have said or said in a way that came across how I didn't want it to. I appreciate right now that you need some time for yourself so I'm going to just leave you to decide if and when you want to talk to me again. It would be an honour to speak to you. In the words of Outkast:
"I still get overwhelmed, when I look in your eyes"

Jo, I want to thankyou for lying with me on Thursday when I was crying my eyes out, I don't know many other people who'd be willing to spend so much time ensuring I was going to be OK and I apologise for making you cry as a result. You don't have to react that way over me and if I felt up to it at the time I would have made sure you felt better rather than the other way around.

Cathy, Lauren, it was extremely kind of you to see how I was and for talking to me about all this over the past couple of days. Your advice is well received and I shall keep it in mind.

Finally, just an apology to whoever I pissed off when they read my blogs. If there's anything in my blogs you don't like or want to comment on e-mail me at jimmyjojojimbobjunior01@hotmail.com if you don't fancy posting a public comment.

I'll see you soon

Current song playing: Coldplay- The Scientist

I should have known posting blogs about how I felt was going to wreak havoc, and it has so I can only say the following:

I'm sorry for those I made cry when they read my blogs
I'm sorry for those I made angry when they read my blogs
And I'm sorry for being nothing but trouble since I arrived

As of now I will probably only post blogs if people ask me to seeing as when I post a blog of my own free will I end up doing something bad.

Choose to interpret the following lyrics how you will, it's kind of how I'm feeling at the moment.

Come up to meet you, tell you I'm sorry
You don't know how lovely you are

I had to find you
Tell you I need you
Tell you I've set you apart

Tell me your secrets
And ask me your questions
Oh, let's go back to the start

Running in circles
Comet tails
Heads on the science apart

Nobody said it was easy
It's such a shame for us to part
Nobody said it was easy
No one ever said it would be this hard

Oh take me back to the start

I was just guessing
At numbers and figures
Pulling your puzzles apart

Questions of science
Science and progress
Do not speak as loud as my heart

Come tell me you love me
Come back and haunt me
All in a rush to the start

Running in circles
Chasing our tails
Comin' back as we are

Nobody said it was easy
Oh, it's such a shame for us to part
Nobody said it was easy
No one ever said it would be so hard

I’m going back to the start...