Current song playing: The Real Thing- You To Me Are Everything

"Though you're close to me, we seem so far apart. Maybe given time you'll have a change of heart."

Weird day today, I seemed to have experienced a somewhat spontaneous depression. I haven't had one of those in a while and I hope I don't have one again soon.

This combined with feeling a tad tired and not looking forward to work in the evening left me feeling rather odd, and you know what else odd I felt? I felt ordinary, and I don't mean as in normal because there's no such thing as normal it's just an invention of the majority of society to create a set style for people to follow but which is constantly changing.

Anyway, I speak of feeling ordinary but not only that, I felt like an also-ran, as if i was 'just another guy' who hangs about in the background and never gets noticed most of the time. I don't know this could be of my own invention or just a reflection of how slowly I seem to progress in life. Now before you get any ideas I have this to say:

It's not your fault.

I've had these kind of days before, but not for years, mainly between the end of Year 6 and early Year 10, but that was because I didn't have many people to call my friend and a lot of people were playing with my emotions. I was even sent to a counsellor but she didn't get to the root of the depressions, she had to leave for a different centre and I was left without a friend and no close to finding out what was wrong with me back then. Now however I haven't been having many at all so just give me hugs and have a chat and I'll be as right as rain. Especially if my love gives me a little cuddle, I'll be ever so grateful.

I'm sorry for acting so down to you, you came over to me to see how I was and I wanted to talk to you about how I was feeling but evidently it was not the right time to talk to you. I promise to talk to you about my problems when I next get the right chance to. It's the least I can do after what you've done for me.

Anyway being forced to redo my Key Skills work (which is preventing me from getting into A2 and I originally submitted it at Christmas and only now has my teacher told me to redo it), being pestered about my theory test for driving not only by Dad but now by Mum aswell who is telling me essentially that I need to get a move on, and being told to get a new job is probably not helping me relax when I want to now that I've gotten the chance.

So alas I must finish this post, I can't think of much more to say than that recently I had a dream and I want to talk to someone I trust about it because I don't know if I should have had it or not. Also I'm listening to the Russell Brand podcast, the latest one mind.

Now I fare the well, and for that special girl, I love you.

P.S. Can anyone who has subscribed to my blog feed or someone who regularly reads my blogs give me a comment on this because I want to get an idea on how many and who reads my blogs. Thankyou.